How can I stop my dinner talking to me?

I am so hungry, yet they brought me a talking leg of mutton,

then - a talking plum-pudding. Both introduced themselves,

and it isn't etiquette to cut any one you've been introduced to.

Alice.

How can I stop my dinner talking to me?
It isn't etiquette to introduce oneself, either; so really you haven't had a proper introduction to either one of them. If you're still concerned, use a dessert spoon to eat the plum-pudding, as this avoids the proscription against cutting.
Reply:Strong antipsychotics.
Reply:Lay off the pipe, dude.
Reply:pretend you did not hear them.
Reply:I always stab my food repeatedly when they first bring it out to make sure it is dead.



Sometimes it freaks out the waiter - especially when I start screaming 'die you motherf**king baked potato motherf**ker!!!!!'



Yes - I am asked to leave restaraunts fairly often.- why?
Reply:Eat it and let it talk to you from inside.
Reply:Just eat away!

But afterward you will probably need some Pepto-Bismol.
Reply:Sometimes my toothbrush talks to me. I still brush my teeth and it my toothbrush is okay with it. Go ahead, cut into your food. Psychosis is not a time to worry about good manners.
Reply:Swallow them whole, would be my suggestion. No cutting involved, unless you count chewing.
Reply:go ask hannibal lecter